Over the New Year, I felt like I kept reading articles about how I should be goal setting and how wonderful it was for me.  It all rang a bit hollow and empty to me.  My goals for the next couple of years involve generally surviving have a fantastic, yet very demanding, little guy and then getting pregnant again and having a little one all over again.  Needless to say, it will be a tumultuous and wonderful couple of years all at once.  However, it doesn’t lend itself to a normal “goal setting” routine of sorts.  So I started thinking down this path and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that instead of goals, I have more daily aspirations to help me be the woman I wish to be.

You see I have this vision in my head of the person I want to be.  She is poised and well put together (despite the fact that yes, indeed, there is spit-up on her shoulder).  She is a fantastic cook and gardener and is able to bring the bounty of each season in to the table. She has created a home that is both visually lovely while also feeling cozy and inviting.  She is an accomplished Ashtantgi and an engaging yoga teacher.  She manages to balance her home and her family while still carving out time for herself both to teach and to do little necessary things like pedicures.  She has a dynamic relationship with her husband and despite the years that continue pass them both by, they are able to maintain that little bit of wonderfulness that drew them together in the beginning both inside and outside the bedroom.

Needless to say, I fail in achieving this vision most of the time.  Then there are times when I have this moment of wonderfulness where I feel like I actually am the person I want to be.  The good news is that I am generally able to achieve some part of this most of the time.  To this end I have realized that I have a couple of things I am currently emphasizing to make this vision more of a reality more of the time and I am going to list them because boy do I love lists!  A therapist once told me to stop making them because they were adding to my anxiety, but that is a whole ‘nother story!

1) Get dressed.  This is defined as: showering, putting on clothes that fit and match, fixing my hair and putting on a bit of make-up (because somewhere inside of me there is a Texas woman that I have fought against for too long – I am conceding – she is right, I feel better when I look decent)

2) If it has sugar in it, don’t eat it.  Sugar is my weakness and I have an awfully hard time stopping eating it once I start.  Walter is at an age where he wants to eat things that I am eating.  I would like whatever I am eating to be something I am comfortable feeding to him.  If I don’t want him to eat it, why the heck am I eating it?  The one exception to this is caffeine.  I will tackle that beast when the munchkins learn to sleep in.

3) Make a menu and then buy the groceries required to cook it.  I am capable of pulling together about one, maybe two meals a week out of whatever happens to be in the fridge.  I am not capable of week’s worth of meals.  Therefore, I should accept this, make a menu (shoutout to Lauren and her tasty blog for making my menu making easy,  I tend to just cook whatever she has recently.) and then cook it.  We will be happier for it.

4) Do my best and let go of the rest.  This is my mantra of late.  I have grand schemes, but I feel like it is just as important to realize when the grand schemes are just too grand for my britches and need to be tossed aside.

What are your daily aspirations?

2 thoughts on “Aspirations

  1. Your vision of wonderfulness is about as ambitious as mine (and remarkably similar), and, shockingly, I fail to achieve it most days, too. Who knew? We put so much pressure on ourselves it’s unreal, isn’t it?

    So, unsurprisingly, your list is one I aspire to follow, too. The sugar thing is haaaaaaard for me. Sugar is my weakness, but I always regret indulging later, since I can never stop after a reasonable amount. It’s a sickness, I tell you!

    Thanks for the shout-out, too. 🙂 Glad I inspire you some days, and it always make me happy when people are trying out my recipes!

  2. It is crazy how much pressure we put on ourselves! Sometimes I just try to step back and think, “Is this on fire currently? or would it just be nice to do it?” Then if it isn’t burning (physically or metaphorically) I try and let it be.

    The sugar thing is definitely a sickness of sorts! Maybe one of these days I will figure out how to do reasonable and sugar! 🙂

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