Playfulness

I am feeling quite serious and responsible lately.  Granted, I have always been serious and having Walter seems to have made me even more serious about life in general.  However, I feel like things have reached new heights of responsibility and just general heaviness lately.  It started last year I think.  I won a financial planning session from Las Madres (my local playgroup) at their annual luncheon.  I was super psyched. I greatly enjoy making sure that all our money is in the correct pot and that the future is as planned for as possible.  I had wanted to do a financial plan for a bit, but with Walter and life, it just never quite made it to the top of my to do list.  But now, I had the perfect reason to do it and for free too!  By the way, if you need any financial assistance Mike at Co-Pilot Financial kinda rocks.  So we started in on the process, and let me tell you it is an interesting process of pulling all the parts of your financial life together and figuring out just exactly how much you are spending a month (printing 6 months of credit card bills is a lot!).  It turns out we spend a lot more a month than I would have ever guessed and despite the evidence being there in black and white on our credit card bills, I still feel that where it all goes is amorphous.  So we did some more figuring on what our financial goals were for the future and all that good stuff.

Then we came up with a plan.  I love plans.  They are fantastic and the sight of one generally makes me feel just so satisfied.  So now it was my job to start to implement the plan.  There were a couple of large items on that to do list:

1) cut spending by 10% and keep us on a budget
2) buy life insurance for both Alex and me so that if something happened we were covered (and more importantly, I wouldn’t HAVE to back to practicing law if I didn’t want to and Alex could pay for ritzy good daycare for Walter)
3) refinance the house – rates have come down a lot since we bought it and we wanted to take advantage of that
4) get a will and corresponding trust set up so if something should happen, again, everything is laid out and dealt with long ago

I should point out that we got the final draft of this plan in July.  I thought the hardest part was going to be putting us on a budget.  Alex and I both enjoy spending money and having to say “no” gets us both cranky.  However, it is now January and the budget is going swimmingly, we are still waiting to get approved for life insurance for Alex, have it for me, we just closed on the refinance for the house, and I really have to get going on reviewing the documents for the will.  This stuff takes for freaking ever!  It also makes me think about death a lot.  In particular, my own death and Alex’s death and what life would be like after that happened.  Honestly, that just sucks.  Pushing these processes along for the last six months is just downright depressing.  Add on that it is January, which in my opinion, is the absolute worst month of the year and I am feeling downright stodgily serious about absolute everything.

The other day I was watching Walter play.  He was just so interested in whatever he was doing.  It was fascinating. It made me remember that life doesn’t always have to be so serious.  It can be playful and dare I even say, fun!  But somehow, I have to get out of serious mom mode and into a more playful mode.  I think the first step is to realize that it would be nice.

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