Don’t

Oh India, I want to love you.  I have heard so many wonderful things about you and I desperately want to experience all the wonders that you have to offer, but I am just not there at the moment.  You are making things very hard for me lately.  I can’t establish a routine (which is key for me) and no part of my day feels at all easy.  Last night I struggled to sleep, my body just isn’t adjusting well to the time change, and I woke up feeling like someone had taken a baseball bat to most of my body.  I was convinced I was getting sick and just felt like crap.  I couldn’t find a comfortable place to lay down and it reminded me of being 9 months pregnant with Walter when I just slept sitting up in our arm chair because my hips just hurt to lay on.  I dragged myself to practice, actually grateful that the alarm finally went off and I could stop forcing myself to sleep.  My practice was crap and I barely made it to the end.  Today I was incredibly grateful that I was only allowed to go to Marichyasana D and grateful that the finishing poses occurred in the women’s changing room where I could flub them and quickly make my way to shavasana.  Sharat left me alone today and I was grateful for that.  I made my way outside to see Alex and Walter waiting for me at the coconut stand.  I was so happy to see them that I felt tears well up in my eyes.  After downing two coconuts, I felt a bit better to take Walter in his backpack and start to make my way back home.

Walter and made our way back home as he pointed out the second coconut stand and touched each of the buses on our way.  We got home and the power promptly went out so there we sat watching Curious George in the dark in my soaking yoga clothes.  After about an hour of fits and starts the power went back on so that I could flip the switch to heat the water to take a shower.  The shower felt so good to wash all the sweat and grime off me.  I got dressed as Alex got home from practice.  I still felt like crap and he suggested I lay down for a bit of a nap while he took Walter out for some groceries.  That nap made all the difference.  He came home and we ate some breakfast and then went to sleep again.  We made our way to Sandia’s for lunch.  It was wonderful food, but Walter ate two bites and then started running around.  Appu, our rickshaw driver, entertained him for a bit, but neither Alex nor I got to enjoy the wonderful food she prepared and it just made me sad.  Then Walter took off for a ladder to the roof, where another little girl had climbed.  The ladder was tall and had very slender rungs with lots of room in between for a toddler to fall through.  However, Walter insisted on climbing it so up I went to trying to protect him from falling.  He made it up and down without incident and I am sure that I have several more gray hairs after that.  The day continued on in this fashion.  We were able to run a couple of errands and do a couple of things, but everything is just hard and exhausting.  However, it doesn’t seem exhausting enough for me to sleep through the night.  So tonight I wish and pray to whatever gods are listening that I can sleep through til 4:30 a.m. when my alarm goes off.  Then please, perhaps, just have one part of the day be just a bit easier.

In our fit of listing everything that was going wrong today, Alex wrote a short poem that I thought I would share.

Don’t drink the water.
Don’t eat dinner.
Don’t raise arms to the side in surya namaskar.
Don’t brush teeth with tap water.
Don’t put your stuff up until your mat is rolled out.
Don’t wear shoes inside.
Don’t come down from utplutihih.
Don’t pay until you leave the coconut stand.
Don’t move your hands in the last vinyasa of parsarita a/d.
Don’t show up late to conference.
Don’t toss your pacifier out the window.
Do try to let it all go and do make sure to drink a coconut every time you pass the stand.

5 thoughts on “Don’t

  1. I feel for you both. It sounds so challenging. All your buttons are being pressed. I have huge admiration for you both. I love Alex’s poem. Don’t lose your sense of humour. You will sleep tonight …..It will get easier. 🙂

  2. No naps. Only one chai(high caffeine). It will get better and you will sleep but give yourself a couple of weeks to adjust. It’s one day per hour. It WILL get better.

    Love Anne

  3. Hang in there. This is part of the India Adjustment Process…uncomfortable, puzzling and totally unnerving, so don’t worry so much about how you should feel. Take it one thing at a time and perhaps make that post-practice nap a daily ritual? It will get better, really! xo

  4. Mountain View is gray.
    No coconut stands here!
    No handstands either, too difficult.
    Work killing.
    Office window full of raindrops.
    Slowly slowly…

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